Tone: Just about as serious as one can be about Star Wars. Just kidding. I’m not that far gone.
Tone: Informative, sarcastic and a bit argumentative.

Why I’m Writing This (and Loving It)

I’m going to LOVE writing this. I’m a total Star Wars nerd. And, technically, Vader brought balance to the Force twice, once when he turned to the dark side (no one said the Chosen One had to be a good guy) and again when he offed himself. I chose to only write about the second time, thinking it might make people think I’m totally insane if I write that turning bad was a good thing. But I AM, so I’m putting it on my calendar to rewrite the piece, describing both instances Anakin/Vader brought balance to the Force.

Vader Was the Chosen One (Not His Whiny Offspring)

Anakin Skywalker, who eventually becomes Darth Vader, was The Chosen One, not his snot-nosed, whiny offspring, Luke. Yup. I said it and I stand by it. And while we’re at it, let me drop another bomb: it was actually the Jedi who caused Anakin to go bad in the first place. Yeah, those oh-so-wise Jedi. The same tyrants who were too busy acting like self-righteous, emotionless monks to realize they were stifling a kid with never-been-seen before potential.

The Jedi Totally Screwed Up

The Jedi didn’t want him trained, even though his midichlorian count practically screamed, “This kid is a freakin’ prodigy!”  You can’t ignore that kind of raw talent, but that’s exactly what they did. Was it intentional to ice him out and pretend like he was not the key to, I dunno, everything? I think the Jedi simply didn’t possess the flexibility of thought required to make a decision one way or the other. They decided not to train him, then handed him off to Obi-Wan. Poor Ani felt unwanted from day one!

Anakin Was Set Up to Fail

Now, I’ll admit, it would’ve been nice if those same Jedi had shown up to stop Anakin from going full throttle over the youngling speed bumps. The guilt from that alone was enough to take him to The Dark Side. But again, it wasn’t really his fault, was it? The Jedi started it. Anakin wasn’t born evil, people. Nature vs Nurture: there was no one there to nurture him! Obi-Wan made it clear from the beginning he didn’t want to mentor young Anakin. He got Jedi-mind-tricked into doing it. (Heh. I did that on purpose). No, Anakin was just a kid with incredible abilities trying to survive in a galaxy (far, far away) that was pretty much on the verge of collapse, surrounded by a bunch of emotionally repressed, holier-than-thou Jedi Masters who treated him like poop on the bottom of their shoes.

Okay, But Slaughtering Younglings? Not His Finest Moment, but Still

So yeah, he flipped out and went bat-guano crazy psycho. So how on Earth (actually, Earth wasn’t in that galaxy, far, far away) was this guy The Chosen One?

Bringing Balance to the Force, as a Bad Guy?

First, he goes “bad” and kills a bunch of people (including the younglings, oopsie), fully jumping into the Dark Side’s deep end, spends a few decades being super bad and then, right when the Galaxy (far, far away) needs him to, Vader redeems himself and brings balance to the force by committing murder-suicide, taking the icky, wrinkly Emperor Palpatine with him literally, over the edge. Oh yeah, and he saved his son and the entire galaxy (far, far away) in the process.

From Slave Kid to Sith to Savior

Anakin went from adorable little slave boy with unimaginable potential to a begrudgingly not-trained-but-trained Jedi to a full-on villain, then 180’d himself, and brought the real balance to the Force when he took that flying leap and gave us a thrilling, unforgettable conclusion to the entire saga. Because there were only 6 films that counted. You know that, right?

Give the Man a Hand (his is missing)

So, let’s all take a moment and give Anakin the credit he deserves. After all, without him, there’d be no return of the Jedi, no redemption, and certainly no Luke Skywalker to whine about how much he hates sand.

Anakin Skywalker was The Chosen One, because he was the ultimate force of change in a galaxy (far, far away) that was desperately in need of some good old-fashioned chaos.